It's 3:30 in the morning and I had this urge to write without having any real purpose to it except that I feel this blog needs a bit of an update. I fell asleep probably just before 10 (my bedtime, give or take) and woke up before 2am feeling sick. One glass of wine will make me feel good and two glasses of wine will make me feel very good, but neither will make me feel good on an empty stomach. Cliff and I had returned from a work related after-party. The few times when I feel sick after drinking a couple glasses of wine will make me feel old. I would never be up this late when I have work the next morning, but I didn't choose the lightweight life; the lightweight life chose me.
A few things:
I finally started school last week and boy, two and a half years out of school was enough to make me forget what it's like to be a student. Or maybe grad school just makes you feel like you have to do your best for reasons such as: cost, debt, maturity, responsibility, or the mere fact that you made a very particular choice with a very grave motive (or so grad school implies). Therefore, I no longer have time for leisure reading, and that is why (if anyone cares to bother) I no longer have anything I am currently reading. I just started The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem when I was bombed with readings on social policy and racism.
Additionally, I've also started what is called a "field placement," otherwise known as an "internship," three days out of the week. I was placed in Brooklyn at a supportive housing facility for people with HIV/AIDS, and a dual diagnosis (of mental illness and substance abuse). Essentially, I am getting a comprehensive experience, as the population is almost exactly what I had wanted. As it turns out, it's uncommon to be placed in an area of your interest. Anyway, they certainly didn't waste time with me the day I started and it has already proved to be difficult. School and work combined so far has been intense, overwhelming, and emotional for me and I don't know how well I will be able to balance other things in my life (ie. friendships, reading for pleasure, hmm...I guess that's it). Inevitably, I feel frustrated at my lack of knowledge and my inexperience working with clients. I've always been a decent listener (as I'm not a talker) but like most good listeners, I'm not a good active listener. This will likely be my greatest challenge, in many ways, while working directly with individuals and I can't wait to overcome it.
Anyway. Unfortunately I cannot re-read/edit anything I wrote because I'm increasingly feeling more hungover as I type and look into this floating screen so I apologize in advance for any incoherence. Good night world.
