California.

I have to leave.

I just can't stay here. It's not the place, it's just everything that it stands for.

Own.

"Every man for himself," a friend of mine said. It was a brief moment, a joke, a great phrase said during a time of sheer fun.

But for me, I couldn't let those four words pass without reflecting back on them. 

There was a specific time in my life, in the middle of my high school years, when I realized I didn't want to be in California anymore. My relatives doubted my ambition, my parents were uncertain, and at this point, I could not afford to let myself down. 

So what you do is, you let every bone and every fiber of your body remain calm. It's all about mind and heart. When you make a decision for yourself, know that it is fully for yourself. The right people can easily suade me, but enough of the wrong people will not move me at all.

I've learned to make decisions for myself. You don't get in the way of someone else's decisions. Sometimes, you let them struggle and learn to balance on their own. I've made mine.

Every man for himself.

They Say An End Can Be A Start.

I decided to follow through with some things:

-Will discontinue this blog, but will also leave it open and linked. Knowing me, I'd probably update it randomly.
-Will try to update other blog more frequently, regardless of its lack of substance (which has become a big fear of mine for the past two years or so). So my week in Denver will be documented with photos on there.
-I love Amy Winehouse. To me, she was one of those people who I didn't realize the significance of until after her death. Not that it mattered to her. But suddenly, she means a lot to me. In this strange, disconnected way.

That is how I will conclude this blog.

Oh Dear.

Notes I took at the Cornel West event:

-Sleepwalking
-Socratic
-"You are who you are because someone loved you"
-"Frivolous to serious"
-EMPTY
-ice age, in depression for 40 years
-"Poor people don't whine, they wail."
-Everyday people were leaders, they did not sell out. Now, they are always FOR SALE.
-Soul (forreal) (Etta James) vs. Celebrity (peacock, visible) (Beyonce)
-old: GREAT (truth, justice) vs. new: SUCCESS (limelight, money, deciet, superficial, STATUS)
-Think for yourself. We try to fit in, rather than be misfits. Be originals. Too many copies. Conformists.
-Ephesians.
-Oligarchy.
-Spineless.




Otherwise....

180: The LA Times...??????

Fated To Pretend.

He has placed all those dear to my heart to empathize with, or to learn from one another :)