Honestly: series 2.

1. How can you trust and allow an inexperienced 24 year old to write a report that costs $750? At this rate, I feel I am underpaid.

2. Speaking French and incessantly smoking cigarettes simultaneously are two things I do not do, but find surprisingly inspiring. 

3. If you are a man, never direct a woman you don't know to smile-- for you have no right to receive such an expensive request. THINK about it!