Talent Shows, Mediocrity, And Coloring Inside The Lines.

I hate talent shows.

I unfairly like to watch them, but not surprisingly, I don't like being a part of them. Talent shows require an array of traits in people aside from mere talent: (1) confidence, so that even if you are afraid of being in front of people, you are able to showcase what you self-proclaim is something you are good at, and (2) the ability to showcase this talent in a way that you want people to view you from day-of-talent-show and onward.

Lately I've been feeling mediocre about many things in my life. I think it's okay to feel lost at 24, but to feel mediocre is to simply feel unfulfilled. I feel like I am not challenging myself in the ways that I want to be challenged, to be able to constantly discover something I didn't know I had in myself or to fine tune skills that I do have. But what skills? Last night, a friend told me that I have many "talents" (after my bout of reasons why I feel mediocre), and these talents which he listed are not talents you can perform or show to someone on a stage. Things normal people don't consider as talents, but possibly characteristics people may appreciate one day if ever they are carefully conscious enough. 

For years I wondered what the hell I'm good at doing, yet somehow, I've managed to feel more than adequate about the things I was able to do regardless of it being mediocre. "Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time." I engraved that lyric in my head since high school, as if I knew it would resonate with me at 24.

Then, I watch unrelated French films or read irrelevant interviews of creatives or eavesdrop on simple interactions on subways and feel that there is more to life than showcaseable talent. What will you do with the great ability to sing, or dance, or draw? That's an excellent question to ask yourself. But as my friend Joyce unforgettably and jeeringly said to my friend Eunice, "you're gonna go so far in life coloring inside the lines."