1) When I was in college, I thought I had it all figured out because when I looked back at my high school years, I felt foolish for thinking like a child. When I started working, I looked back at the naivete of my college years. And now, I know I'll be 30 something (or even 25), and think about how petty I was when I was 24. Should I be more mature at this age? What should I be thinking and writing about at 24? Am I still thinking and writing about things I should have stopped thinking and writing about when I was 18?
I once read an interview on David Sedaris who said, "If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve." Although I am conscious of a blog being a public "diary," I can't caution myself for each word I write to not offend someone. And if I do, I don't think I'll be sorry. Why is it socially acceptable to write what you want to write in a private space, but not a public one? I will, however, be sorry that so-and-so felt a certain negative way upon reading something personal of mine, but never will I be sorry for writing something I genuinely felt.
2) Just yesterday, my sister told me a truism that I learned the hard way literally a few days prior to speaking with my sister. She told me, "How you treat your family reflects who you are." And I admit, I do not treat my family the way I know I should be treating them, nor do I even treat them how I would like to treat them. In my mind, I try. In my words and actions, I fail. And I see this as my biggest flaw. My family life is the hardest thing for me to talk about and it has never been because they have done me wrong, but because I am ashamed of myself. For some reason, I have never been able to grow positively in this area, but the other day, I took up a challenge in tandem with someone who I think will help me in this process of growth and betterment, in turn, making me a better person who can better others. I would like to clarify that just because you work at charitable nonprofit or have passions in these areas, does not make you a good person. I know this first hand because even I surprise myself for finding passion in this field-- and I am not a wholly good person. I'm not stating this particularly because people think I'm a good person (au contraire), but it's a common misjudgment of character for people in this field (have you ever visited your county's Jobs and Family Services department?).
While in college, my personal mantra was to "do me," meaning that I don't have to change myself and don't have to be liked by people. But my mantra now is to be self-aware. I don't quite know what this means yet, but I think it starts with having a better outlook on life. For me, I have always seen life as something you tackle. That's why, for example, I've struggled and failed to carry all the weight of Cincinnati on my own shoulders, instead of accepting it and taking action to move forward.
While in college, my personal mantra was to "do me," meaning that I don't have to change myself and don't have to be liked by people. But my mantra now is to be self-aware. I don't quite know what this means yet, but I think it starts with having a better outlook on life. For me, I have always seen life as something you tackle. That's why, for example, I've struggled and failed to carry all the weight of Cincinnati on my own shoulders, instead of accepting it and taking action to move forward.
