Your work starts from the issue of street harassment, yet the tone of the phrases you choose point to the fact that women don’t need to be sensible to men’s needs. They do not need to appease or seem agreeable to anyone, both on the street and in personal relationships.
That's especially true for the “smile” comment. That piece in particular has received a lot of backlash. A lot of people don’t understand why women would have a scowl or a neutral facial expression. Women are looked at as needing to have this kind of emotional response, to always be happy, always be nice, and caring, and pretty, and lovely. You have to be dainty and poised and have a pleasant demeanor. It is put on us as our responsibility. Many people feel entitled to women’s emotions or expressions, particularly in the public space. Men often tell a woman to smile or initiate a conversation with a woman without her wanting to respond. She doesn’t owe you anything; she can move around the world however she wants to without having to feel like she has some responsibility to give something to someone else, to a stranger. While that definitely happens on the street, these posters and their sayings can shift into a lot of other contexts and situations.
I've experienced more street harassment during my time in Cincinnati than I have in my lifetime.
With that said, I've never intolerated on the male gender more than I have now, for this reason. I don't believe I ever have to smile for ANY one. I have been directed to do this not just by strangers, but by men I know. It is a demand to women to blatantly say that smiling is for our best interest, and let me tell you, YOU do not own me or how I present myself to the world.
Two days ago, I was waiting for the bus in the West End of Cincinnati-- a neighborhood notorious for drugs, shootings, and prostitution.. Also where I work-- and a man on his bike looked at me as he rode by and told me I looked "sexy."
At that moment, I wished I could do something besides give him a look of disbelief.
Do you know me? Do you know what kind of day I was having? Does your statement make me feel better about myself? Do I want you to look at me as a sexual object?
All I know is that by staring at me, HE felt better.
I was so angry. I was PARTICULARLY angry about street harassment that day because I don't think I deserve it. After my long day at work, I don't think I deserve to be objectified on the street by a stranger.
Even though I know that right now at this moment he can't remember what he did two days ago or if he passed someone on his bike that day or if he said anything to some girl, me writing this is evidence that women NEVER forget these despicable moments.
