Thursday, October 27, 2016

I Recently Sold My Soul.

I recently had one of those moments where you reflect on your life and realize that you never imagined to be where you are at this point in your life.

I suppose this is new to me because my life up to this point has actually felt pretty seamless. I know going from English to social work isn't really considered seamless, but it was to me (or it's what I often say to justify my lack of visionary foresight in becoming the prototypical millennial that does a career-switcheroo). Taking notes on post-structuralism and Marxism in your English classes inevitably leads one to consider the prominent social issues of life that existed for decades before us. English helped me kickstart my skepticism of my religion, it helped me understand the cruelty of social hierachy, and it helped me see the reality of capitalism. The more I learned in my classes, the more I realized the extent of the messed-up-ness of our world.

When I was in grad school, I thought I knew at least what I didn't want, which was to be like the psychology-major-turned-cop-outs who found out that social work would be easier to begin their private practice than getting their psyD. I didn't-- and still don't-- understand why Americans glamorize obtaining the clinical status to diagnose someone. In a twisted and unconscious way, I think it makes people feel this god-like superiority over others. I can tell you what your problem is, because I don't have that problem. Let me help you because you're helpless.

I know I'm only just starting out my new career path, but I'm on the other extreme end of where I thought I'd be, with this degree, with this license to practice. I didn't think I'd ever engage in private practice. I don't mean to demean the people who tend to seek out private practice therapists (that would be people like me and you), but my attraction to social work was to help people living in poverty- whether it's their financial, educational, and mental needs, or the getting-by-ness of life. In other words, I want to help people with the bottom two basic needs of Maslow's hierachy.


Yet, here I am trying to understand people struggling with the top three.

It's ironic because I'm trying to get myself to realize that the people struggling with the top three needs are people within my network, my peers, all my friends, and they need help too. I would know because I'm one of them. And to be honest, I'd like to think that I have no less empathy for the people I work with now than I do with the people I've worked with in the past or hope to in the future.