To me, this is a dismal thought that makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin, sitting in my own world of everything that currently consumes my life.
The thought actually never occurred to be something applicable to my own life. To my friend, I say quite often-- and meaningfully-- "you deserve better." To myself, I think NOT that I deserve better, but that I would like to reach something higher, and I would like to try and attain it, if I find myself wanting more.
But really, when have I ever wanted something better?
I think about this more often because I'm eager to leave my current "job." A lot has to do with the fact that from the start, I've calculated how long I will endure this way of living. As much as I am blessed to be in such a "happy" environment (compared to drab, JFS-type of governmental organization) and blessed to be surrounded by positive people, I'm mostly sick of working like an employee and getting treated like shit, just because we're not on their payroll. I know they don't know what we go through as AmeriCorps members, and frankly, they don't care.
Regardless, this is one area where I am searching for something better. I wrote in my diary a couple months ago regarding the idea of a better career, "...if such a thing exists."
But I guess that's the thrill of it. We don't know if there's something better for us out there, but we take the risk to see if there is. I wonder if that's a good thing, or if it applies to every aspect of your life. Some people don't think "better" exists. And that's probably why they always go to the same restaurant and order the same item on the menu.
Despite all these prospective and imaginative dreams, and the reality of my current life, I sometimes think my life can't get any better at 23.
On a side note: I think I will try to use spell-check, and read my posts before I publish them. Not today though. Maybe tomorrow.
