I'm trying something new. And I figured this blog, being candid and all, is really the perfect place to have experimental blog posts, as it has already gone through various phases in the blogosphere. I like writing in here because I like the not-knowingness of my readership, if such readership exists.
To be honest, I was inspired by my own writing. Often times, I get discouraged by my disintegrating blogging skills and lack of insight, but when I click "older entries" far back enough, I remember that I used to be super comfortable in my thoughts and sharing them, exposing them in such a modest manner. That's why I'm here again, because I want to make sure I live comfortably in my mind and be able to share it with whoever may be interested in my life.
Plus, writing is my outlet. Rambling pumps my adrenaline and talking about myself accentuates my narcissism-- you can call that a quirk.
In all seriousness, I want to record my thoughts of being in Cincinnati not only as an AmeriCorps VISTA, but also as an individual in what I thought would be an uncanny, first relationship.
I absolutely refuse to be so explicit about my relationship (which I find to be odd because I always thought I'd be open about it since I was open about everything else on my blog), hence why I have never mentioned it on MS. And I won't be explicit here. I'll be tasteful. And it will be mundane, because more than anything, I appreciate good, mundane things.
Take, for example, my Saturday.
C and I didn't do anything special. We walked to the UPS store. We walked to Potbellys. We spontaneously went out of bounds and bought two pints of Graeter's ice cream just because it was next door. He went ice skating with his church kiddies. I went to Coffee Emporium to work on my presentation. I waved at him when he passed by the window on his way to another place (the life of urbanites). He later came in and we chatted. We walked home. We ordered Chinese food and washed the bedsheets. We went to Target and bought groceries at Kroger.
But because I couldn't help but to realize that I couldn't be happier doing such normal, every day things, I soaked up every moment of that Saturday.
Such is my life at this moment. Yes, I'm stressed about work this week because it sucks having to do something you spent four years of your life avoiding (presentations), but, I think this was good enough to cover my stress for the week.
I never once regretted coming to Cincinnati. In fact, I am proud to say that I'm here because I feel involved and I feel knowledgable about this place and the issues that surround it. But there was one particular day when I looked out the window and everything looked unfamiliar. The building in front of the apartment. The average looking parking lot down below. The cracks on the road. The hills beyond OTR.
How did I not realize I am so far from home?
And soon after, I couldn't really define was "home" was anyway. But I was homesick for it.
Of course, coming to Cincinnati makes better sense now than it did when I actually made the decision. And since that one day of looking out the window at unfamiliar surroundings, I've never been confused.
