Objective: Say little as possible, eat quickly, and leave quickly from my traditional, anti-American aunt's house.
Wednesday (evening).
6:10pm- Arrive at auntie's house. The entire car ride consisted of thoughts such as, "eff my life" and "why me."
6:12pm- Greet aunt, who proceeds to immediately say that's she been waiting for us for way too long and regrets calling us over. My mom apologizes (for no reason) while she explains that they had just gotten out of work.
6:13pm- My thirty-something single, male cousin gives me a hug and says I have aged. Not quite sure what this means because on the flight home in the beginning of summer, the woman next to me thought I meant that I had just graduated from high school, not college. Anyway, my cousin. He's not all that repulsive of a person, and he once told me that a woman proposed to him, yet he rejected her. I wonder why he's single but I bet he hates hearing that question, so I never ask. A bachelor. That's what he probably likes to call himself on good days.
6:15pm- After awkwardly strolling around the house, I come to sit back down next to my cousin and my dad. My mom reluctantly talks with my aunt in the kitchen.
6:23pm- I can tell my cousin wants to ask me some questions because he keeps looking at me in the corner of his eyes every time my dad pauses from talking.
6:25pm- Finally, we exchange some small talk. He asks me what I've been up to. I explain that I had just got back from an internship in Cincinnati (no details), and now I was hoping to get into a community service program somewhere near home despite that I would rather be in the East. This cousin happens to be the same cousin who doubted me in attending an out-of-state school. So now he decides to tell me that I'd need to find a side job if I want to do this community service program. You just don't know, I want to tell him. But I save myself the trouble of explaining and nod my head.
6:36pm- My aunt calls me from the kitchen-- aw, too bad, Mike. Guess I have to stop talking to you so I can eat your mother's yum yum cooking. (Not).
6:39pm- What. Am. I. Eating. My aunt is notorious for having expired homemade food in her fridge and feeding it to us, almost as if it was intentional that she invited my family over to get rid of it. Today, it's a red bean porridge that is way too sweet for my own good. It's a heaping bowl. I dislike its sweetness the moment I put the first spoonful in my mouth and she watches me eat every bite. I don't say a word. I just pretend like it's delicious. So I try to eat it fast, but I can't without feeling sick. I exchange glances with my mom while my aunt is yapping. She gives me a sympathetic smile.
6:47pm- I'm still trying to eat it, and my aunt says I look like I'm not enjoying it. "Oh, but it's tasty," I say in my best Korean. The only words I say to her. She doesn't believe me, I can tell.
6:48pm- Okay, just SUCK IT UP, I tell myself. Just finish eating it so we can leave.
6:50pm- I managed to get most of it cleaned up and go to the sink to wash the dishes before my aunt can see that I actually had to put some of it down the drain.
6:54pm- I go back to my cousin. I ask him what he's been up to, but of course at this stage in his life when isn't married and doesn't have kids, all he does is work. So he tells me about how many hours he works a week. I don't know how to make the conversation less awkward without getting too engaged in the conversation-- we don't want to get caught up in an interesting conversation only to end up having to stay an extra 30 minutes!
7:00pm- Success! It's time to leave. My cousin walks me to the door saying it's been at least two years since we last saw each other but that's not true. I know it's not. There's no way my parents would have let me gone that long without seeing my relatives. I might have not been in Cali very long this summer or last summer, but my New Years must have been spent with them.
7:07pm- As my parents and I drive home, we all sigh with relief that we got that over with.
Lesson Learned: Just stay home, or decline to eat something you don't want to eat.
